Return of the Sock Nemesis

A while ago, I shared some of my sock woes. Well, I have more. A while back, Bryan received some black socks, for Christmas, I think. I was folding the socks one day while doing laundry, and I noticed a little orange-red mark on them.

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It was an “L” or and “R”. The socks have a left and right. I went directly to Bryan to ensure that surely this was a cruel, cruel joke, but NO! He assured me that the socks actually fit better when placed on the correct foot. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I cannot emphasize enough my extreme anger, disgust, and actual thoughts of strangling someone with socks that they designed to have a left and a right. This is a crime against laundry. I actually fold socks. I shouldn’t be penalized for this.

Down with sock fascism! Do you fold socks?

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Yeah, I guess

The number one comment in regard to Micah is how much he talks. Usually, he’s excitedly telling you about his toys, his friends, or big trucks, but lately he’s been amusing me when he uses his new favorite affirmative phrase “Yeah, I guess.” He stops sounding like a sweet, happy toddler and starts sounding more like a world weary, ambivalent adolescent.

“Do you want Mommy to go get you some milk?” “Yeah, I guess.” You expect him to continue with, but nothing will satisfy this deep thirst of my soul. I’m going to go listen to my music.

“Should Daddy tickle you?” “Yeah, I guess.” but really, the laughter is gone from my soul.

“Do you want to go vrooming in the big truck?” “Yeah, I guess.” I mean, I probably should because soon the truck that I love will just be rust and memories like everything else. (Cue angst filled teenage music about the futility of life)

But now, I need to stop my mind wanderings because we need to go say hi to some bunnies in our yard.

What phrases have your toddlers used that seemed a bit out of place?

Posted in Family Updates | 2 Comments

Obadiah

What did you call your baby in utero?

Usually, we’ve just called it “the baby”. I know, you’re all taken aback with our originality and creativity. I’ve heard of people calling baby Jelly Bean or Gummy Bear or the bean. (We pregnant mommies are a hungry lot.) I know someone on Facebook who refers to hers as Zombie. I’ve just never resonated with any of these, so we usually call the baby, the baby.

This time, after we told the girls and Micah, Bryan started teasing about what we were going to call new baby. All our names end in the “uh” sound. Emma, Hannah, Micah. What could we name new baby that would follow our rule*? So Bryan started throwing out “uh” names and Obadiah is what stuck. Now odds are exceedingly low that this is our final name, but this what we’ve been calling baby this time around.

Catchy, no?

*Not an actual rule, we reserve the right to call this one whatever we can agree on.

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The shorts rule

It’s “spring” in Minnesota which means that we’ve been outside more, and I’ve started fielding the question “Can I wear shorts today?” In the past, I would look at the weather, make a judgement call, hand down the verdict, and if I said “no”, proceed to explain and justify my decision to loud protests. And in the words of Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time fo dat.” So, we made an arbitrary rule. Our rule is, the children may not wear shorts unless the high temperature will be 65 or higher. I know, harsh, right?

Do you have a shorts rule?

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Amazing Life Hacks 2: Return of Mediocrity

If you missed the previous Amazing Life Hacks, don’t worry.  You didn’t miss much.  I mean, you could read it it you wanted to.  But we’re back for another round of Life Hacks:

  • Wifi signal isn’t strong and you have an empty Pringles can? Order both Pringles and a Wifi extender from Amazon.  They have everything.
  • Need a recap of last night’s “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”? No, you don’t.
  • Substitute milk for water to have the weirdest shower ever.
  • If you’re going to stink up the bathroom, always make sure to pre-blame when you go in. No one’s going to verify at that point, and they can’t blame you afterwards.
  • Need to finish a RedBox rental but can’t afford another night? You need some margin in your budget. You shouldn’t be running within $1.20 of disaster.
  • Need a new tank for your three pet cobras? Make a YouTube video of yourself juggling the cobras (don’t hurt the cobras). Have it go viral. Become YouTube partner. Use profits to buy new cobra tank.
  • Need exercise motivation? Put your workout clothes on backwards, because Kris Kross will make you jump jump.

Anything else to add?

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When your husband works from home

My take on this differs a bit from Bryan’s. Also, I want to note that I believe I had this post in the works before his. Oh well, you snooze, you lose.

Lots of people are telling me what it is like to have a husband working at home. “Oh, that will be so nice! He can help homeschool the kids, take the kids to doctor’s appointments, watch Micah so you can teach the girls, etc.” Basically, people are pretty sure I will have tons of free time now that Bryan’s working from home. The only problem with that is that Bryan is actually working from home. We’re only a few weeks in, and by next month, Bryan’s work may have an office in town that he can go to again, and he probably will, but I thought I would fill you in on what it is really like to have someone working from home at your house.

  • Most of the time, I don’t even know he’s here. I mean, I know he’s here, obviously, but he’s back in his office in the corner of the downstairs, so we don’t hear him or talk with him or trip over him for most of the day. Once, I even forgot to tell him we were going out, so he came out for lunch and we were gone. Luckily, the van was gone and he can locate me via my phone, so he didn’t worry too much that we had been raptured.
  • Keeping the little guy from hunting down his dad can be a little challenging some days, but I do it. Bryan is serious about his work, and it’s important that he doesn’t have people literally pounding down his door yelling “Where Daddy go?”
  • But, if the little guy is napping, having someone in house so that I can run the girls to choir quickly is amazing. I love not having to wake him up at ten to 2 every Thursday anymore.
  • The commute time is great. He’s with us until 8 in the mornings and back upstairs right around 5. In contrast, he used to get on the bus at 7:07 and get off the bus at 5:20. We gain almost an hour and a half not counting lunch time.
  • Lunch time. The only downside. I have to think about feeding 5 people instead of 4 now. Leftovers are a beautiful thing. It’s not all downside, though, the girls love catching up with Dad in the middle of the day.
  • Emergencies, even minor ones. Today, he came upstairs when he heard me ask Micah if he pooped (the office is directly below the little guy’s room). I’m not for sure, but I think he did it to rescue me. Lately, changing poopy diapers makes me throw up. Micah’s a smelly little guy. Luckily, it was a false alarm. Even so, I deeply appreciate puking prevention.
  • Consulting with Bryan about decisions is much easier. I go downstairs. If I hear him on the phone, I text. Otherwise, I’m able to pop in and get a quick consensus on issues that pop up during the day.

Overall, it’s been really nice having him home more. Dinner gets on the table earlier. He gets to hear about school while it’s still fresh in their minds. No one is worried about packing a lunch or having to buy one if packing seems oppressive (and it often does). But we had to make adjustments. I changed read aloud time so we could talk to him during lunch. It feels weird to prep dinner while he’s home instead of before he gets home. I’m still trying to remember to include him when we have snack during the day. We don’t have it all figured out yet, but it’s been a good change.

What do you think I should do now that Bryan works from home? I feel like bon bons might definitely be in my future :)

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Working from home

I’ve been working at home for about a month and a half now.  With the sudden career transition, it’s been……different. I wouldn’t describe it as a “shock”, because stuff comes up and I just handle it.

So to answer the question on everybody’s mind: Do I wear pants? Yes. The first day I worked was the first time it was 60 degrees all year and I was just watching an orientation webcast, so I did wear shorts that day.  And occasionally I will wear lounge pants depending on what’s clean in the laundry and if I have anything else planned that day. And yes, I’ve showered 100% of the days I’ve worked.  Occasionally we’ll communicate with each other over Google Hangouts, so yeah, you have to be presentable.

You lose track of the days.  Monday is easy.  It’s the day I start work for the week. But my new job isn’t bogged down in processes that I have a bunch of various meetings that act as reminders of what day it was.  This makes Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday indistinguishable.  Amie would mention something about Wednesday night church activities, and I would be confused if she was talking about tonight, tomorrow, or what. I find myself needing to occasionally remind myself what day it is throughout the day.  That’s a new thing for me.

The commute time rocks.  Running just a little bit late doesn’t mean the difference between making and missing the bus.  When I’m in “working mode”, I try to stay in that.  But on a few occasions like when Micah has been sick, the ability to go from work to home instantly has been good.

The number of people you see in a day dramatically decreases.  With taking the bus to my previous job, arriving at the building at the exact time every, and other people’s buses arriving at the same time, shifts ending, etc.  You’d see a bunch of the same people walking the hallways going to your office.  I probably saw 200-300 people by the time I sat down at my desk.  Now it’s 4.  3 if one of the kids sleeps in.

Posted in Family Updates | 5 Comments

I’m still a little disappointed

I’m emotional, but even so, I’m a fairly steady person. Sure, if we have company coming and the house is a wreck, I get a little up in arms, but other than that, I’ve mellowed considerably since my teen years. This is why I get a little frustrated with myself when it comes to my irrational behavior related to food while pregnant.

Weeks ago, but it’s still as fresh in my memory as yesterday, I brought a large bowl of homemade buttered popcorn to a Women’s Movie Night at our church. There was a little left over, so I brought it home. The next day, SOMEONE had eaten it before I could have it for snack. I did not interrogate the suspects, but I did consider labeling every snack in the house with my name just in case I might want it.

Bryan went to a Mexican restaurant with some coworkers for a going away party. I haven’t been to a Mexican restaurant in a really, really long time. I NEED a totally inauthentic seafood enchilada since last week. I really do.

We’re out of salsa. We have chips. This is sad, but what I really want is an avocado to mash and add a little salt and cumin to because it was SO GOOD at Costco the other day that I considered circling around for a second sample.

Micah expects me to share. To share MY food. When I have a meal or a snack, he wants a bite of MY food. While not pregnant, I laugh and tell people that that this is the toddler diet and how I lose the baby weight, but when I’m putting on the baby weight, it’s not really that funny any more. I need food. ALL of the food.

I had a major sinus event over the weekend, and I was unable to make pretzels for Easter. I don’t want bought pretzels, I want homemade whole wheat pretzels with homemade cheese sauce, but we have this play thing going on and I don’t have time. This is a tragedy. I feel unreasonably sad about it.

We also decided to go to church breakfast instead of make muffins and egg bake at home. I need to find time to make some muffins because every time I go into the kitchen for breakfast, I just think about muffins. Blueberry muffins, lemon muffins, those little mini donut muffins. Mmmmm, muffins.

I could go on and on about my food irrationalities, but here’s the last one. On Friday, Bryan bought Starburst jelly beans because he remembered that they were “really good” which I deny about jelly beans that are not certain flavors of Jelly Belly. But, the package said Starburst, and I’m still sad that it wasn’t actual Starburst chews because those are good unlike their jelly bean relatives. The kids had a handful of Starburst chews in their treat bags from church. I ate almost all of them, but someone got to one or two of them before me. I’m still a little disappointed.

What’s your most recent food disappointment?

 

Posted in Pregnancy, Random | 2 Comments

Yes, we understand “for exposure” isn’t great

Some companies like to use people’s services and pay for them in terms of “exposure”.  Basically, it means that the person may get their name and work seen by a bunch of people.  If you’re thinking that’s probably a bad deal, you’re right.  I’m pretty sure this notion has been around for a while.

I was once offered “exposure” if I created an app for someone. They were going to pay me in terms of a LinkedIn recommendation and a tweet to 700 people. Foolishly, I only declined.  The proper Internet response would have been an open letter.

Thanks to social media, people now rant about this.  And they do it often.  What this has done is created a weird situation where the amount of exposure someone gets for doing a concert, artwork, or whatever, is dwarfed by the amount of exposure they get for posting an “open letter” talking about the hypocrisy of “exposure”.

Going to complain about “exposure”?  Make sure you follow these simple steps:

  1. Make the assumption that the absolute head of the organization is personally making these decisions.  Or someone who’s already associated with the event that is highly recognizable. There’s no way the task of recruiting people has fallen into someone else’s lap.
  2. Point out how much money they make from ticket sales. Multiply that by the number of seats.  But stop the math there.  You’d hate to be including the list of costs like liability insurance, rental fees for them, cost of equipment, etc.  If they sell a $100 ticket, that’s a full Benjamin Franklin going into the pocket of the person in item 1.
  3. Mention how your landlord doesn’t accept “exposure” for payment.  Really, this is quite a witty response that no one has heard before.  But before you do, ask your landlord if he’d waive your rent if you got his building featured on the cover of a local magazine.  Or on 20 billboards throughout the city.  I’m guessing there’s a point where he’d agree to waive your rent for a month for exposure.
  4. Tell us how long you’ve been in the business.  Or references to past work.  Or what other people paid you for.  What your hours of availability in the upcoming month are.  You need to milk this exposure.

Or, I suppose you could just treat those offers like a bad offer and ignore them.

Posted in Random | 3 Comments

For those with sensitive noses or how I change diapers with morning sickness

I don’t know if you’ll ever need this very important life hack, but when Bryan and Micah got food poisoning for several days while I was still battling morning sickness, I needed it to survive.

Changing #2 while pregnant is always a risk for me, but with diarrhea it’s even worse, so here’s what worked for me.

Upon detecting the smell, grab a baby wipe. Place the wipe over your nose and mouth and seal the area by pulling your shirt collar over your nose. This works best with crew necks and turtlenecks, so plan your wardrobe appropriately. Your makeshift respirator leaves your hands free for changing. Leave the wipe in place during changing and until the diaper is properly disposed of, preferably outdoors. Then, carefully remove wipe and move to rooms where the offending BM has not contaminated the air source.

Bonus, small toddlers will think this new look is hilarious. Fun for toddler. No puking for me. Win-win.

Have you found a different way to conquer this serious problem? If so, leave a comment below and you could win . . . my undying gratitude.

Posted in Fun, Pregnancy | 2 Comments