Crow solutions

Rochester has a bit of a crow problem. They are so many downtown that roost in the trees and make a mess. Any benches under the trees are ruined. A church has removed a tree because of the crows. Visitors to the Mayo Clinic are annoyed. There are some solutions that have been proposed.

  1. Harass the birds. This is suppose to be done with lasers. But I’m not sure that’ll work. Now, some people think we should resort to cyberbullying the birds. Make up fake Facebook accounts for the birds, or perhaps Twitter accounts with fake bird tweets (horrible pun alert). But I don’t think that’s the answer.  Instead, leave bad reviews on Yelp for any restaurants they may have.  If the jobs go, so will the birds.
  2. Relocate the birds. I’m not exactly sure how we’re suppose to do this. My best guess is that we give the birds a device that has Apple Maps and they’ll end up going somewhere else.
  3. Apparently crows are social animals (hence the Facebook angle), but they also have funerals.  So I’m betting if we can take out a single crow, we just wait for them to have a crow funeral and then we can ambush a whole bunch of them when they bow their head in prayer.  Now, we’ll want to make sure we’re taking out one of the popular crows. Don’t get that loner crow no one will even know is gone.
  4. People always say education is a solution, so it must be true for crows.  My guess is that we educate the birds about how much corn Iowa has.  Once they know, they’ll head to the promised land.

But we’ll see how the city does, and then maybe they’ll try some of these solutions.

Does anyone have any other ideas of what might work?

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