Week 30-Helpful advice

 BabyFruit TickerYay! I am 3/4 or so done baking this little one, and apparently, I look it!  I’ve been getting LOTS of questions from others lately, and I even though I’m generally even-tempered about these sorts of things, I just thought I would offer some helpful advice in case you run into someone who isn’t or myself on a bad day.

Normal Question/Statement: You’re so big/little!

Why it’s not the best option-Pregnant ladies stress a lot over their size/weight/growth. We get weighed a lot. We gain weight much more rapidly than we like. We feel huge, and we don’t like to be reminded of it. We’re also worried about our little ones and their growth, so being told we’re too tiny doesn’t make us feel awesome either.

Better Option: “You look wonderful/fantastic/radiant.” Choose any one or all three, and be sincere 🙂

Normal Question/Statement: How are you feeling?

Why this isn’t the best option– We can answer one of two ways. We can tell you we’re feeling pretty good, or you could end up spending the next 20 minutes discussing awesome things like sciatic pain, constipation, round ligament pain, itchy stretch marks, inability to sleep. The list goes on and on.

Better Option: “How’s your day/week?” This lets us tell you what’s going on without having to rehearse our medical history. If we have something important to tell you about how we’re feeling, we’ll let you know then.

Normal Question/Statement: “When are you due?” or worse “Haven’t you had that baby yet?”

Why this isn’t the best option- Mostly, I don’t want to tell you the first answer because then, if you remember, I may get stuck with the second question after my due date. This may cause me to go completely insane, and if I get a judge who went overdue with her child, I’m pretty sure most of my actions would be pardoned. Or I might just refer you here.

Better option: “I can’t wait to meet your little one!” or “What can I do to help once the baby is born?” The first is good because it expresses excitement, and we’re excited too! This may make us both squeal like little girls and jump (or as close to it as a pregnant woman can get) up and down. The second is really just my pipe dream 🙂

Normal Question/Statement: You (your family) must be getting SO excited.

Why this isn’t the best option-Ummm…of course we’re excited, and even if we’re a little overwhelmed, what can we reply but yes? No one is going to say “Meh, I’m pretty sure this one is going to be nothing to write home about.” or “Actually, I’m a little terrified. Pretty sure this means I could ruin someone’s life if I’m not careful.”

Better option- “I’m so excited for you!” We like to know we have someone on our team.

Normal Question/Statement- “Are you going to have any more?”

Why this isn’t the best option-First, I don’t think that someone who is pregnant is in a good position to answer this question. Second, ask anyone who’s struggled with having kids, we’re not exactly in control of this. People try to have babes and cannot. People don’t try to have babes, and they get special and awesome surprises. Third, you do realize what causes this, don’t you? Maybe it’s not the most appropriate thing to ask people about.

Better option: Wait and see.

Finally, please do not compare our bellies to tables, beach/bowling/other balls, shelves, etc. Even when my daughter did this, I was not really amused (even though I did not express my displeasure). We’re a sensitive lot.

And to my fellow pregnant ladies, try not to be too hard on them (unless they compare you to a whale/elephant/other large animal). They’re really just trying to express their interest in the awesome little person you’re incubating.

And that is your PSA for this week.

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