Bryan’s Elementary Writing Folder- Mermaid Lagoon

In this assignment, I try to be as sassy as I can for a student at a parochial school.

After they got to the underground cave, Rachelle said, “Where are we?” Then a big current swept her away. Steve was alone.

He swam and saw a trap door. He went through and he saw a mermaid. He was about to talk and the mermaid said, “Shut up!”

So Steve started blabbering on and on. I’m not sure how Steve can talk under water, but I find it interesting that instead of asking about his friend and assuming the mermaid to be friendly, he antagonizes her.

The mermaid said, “Shut up!” I’m thinking of this in a shrilly-sassy voice.  Are you?

“I’m sorry, scaly-face,” Steve replied. Again, more friendly chit chat.

The mermaid changed Steve into a mermaid (I was not aware of the term “merman” apparently) I think the mermaid actually changed Steve into a mermaid here, complete with shell bra. He was being pretty sassy. and she ran away (how does a mermaid run with no legs?). Steve found Rachelle in a jail. Then the mermaid came and put Steve in jail too. Steve said, “Now your (all, my first recorded confusion of your and you’re) in jail and we’re not.” So the mermaid changed spots with them. Now she was in and they were out. “Gee, your (and the second recorded instance) dumb,” said Steve.

Rachelle left and came back with a bag I find it interesting that Steve’s companion carries a torture bag with her. Perhaps Steve should rethink his choice of companions. Also, should I be concerned that this is the kind of woman that Bryan wrote about as his ideal heroine when he was a young man? “Turn Steve back or I torture you.” The mermaid said no. Rachelle pulled out a frying pan.


“Long John Silver’s.” (Wait, are we just using words to taunt the mermaid? Beat her with the frying pan Rachelle! Also, my town had no Long John Silver’s.  That doesn’t matter because I don’t like seafood, but it’s interesting that this made it into my writing folder. I somehow knew this but not “Red Lobster”.  Oh, and I didn’t get to eat at an Olive Garden until I was 18.)


“Fishing pole, worms, cats, canned tuna…” (How is “worms” suppose to scare a mermaid? Unless you’re (NOTE: CORRECT USAGE) pulling these items out of the bag. But I can’t figure out how you pulled out a Long John Silver’s.  Just give her a little tap with the frying pan)

“OK, I give up, don’t make me a fish fillet.” (I probably didn’t scare her, just bored her to death).

“Hey, thanks for the idea.”

But they left her alone and went home. (and apparently left her trapped in the jail from what we can tell. But since she’s magical, she can escape.) And alert all her mermaid and fish friends, so Steve and Rachelle can never again have a romantic scuba dive in that area of the ocean ever again. Way to make friends Steve and Rachelle!

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