How big of a sports fan am I?

I’m a guy. Apparently this means I’m suppose to like sports. But I’m not much of a sports fan.  And by “not much”, I mean “I really have no clue what is going on.” I watch one football game a year (if that).  And yes, it’s the Superbowl.  I know in January I’m suppose to check the news sites to see what teams are in the semifinals of football.  Why do I do this? So that when people ask me the question, “Who do you think will make the Superbowl?” I can give a plausible answer.  Sure, they may still give me some crap about my “selection” (which honestly is just based on whatever team I can remember), but it’s better than answering “I don’t know.  The Yankees?”  Because from what I can tell, people hate the Yankees.  So that’s why it’s a bad answer.

Another thing about the Superbowl is I try to never make any comments about plays until I know if they’re good.  Sometimes you’ll see a play, the guy passes it, it gets caught, and the guy is running free to the endzone. That’s pretty good, right?  Wrong.  It turns out that some guy at the edge of the screen did something that I swear he’s done every single play, but this time it was illegal.  I don’t know those rules.

You know what else I do?  I occasionally check Wikipedia to see if there’s expansion teams or teams that have moved.  For example, did you know there’s an NBA team called the Pelicans?

logoI kid you not.  They’re real.  They used to be the Charlotte Hornets.  Well, actually the New Orleans Hornets. I have no clue if they’ll make it to the Finals this year. But no more Hornets….I have to remember that.

I don’t do fantasy league football because I don’t know of any players.  I would probably draft Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, because I know they’re a good combination from Tecmo Bowl for NES.  But people keep telling me to choose Bo Jackson. People are like, “You need to choose current players!” and I have to respond with, “OK, that dog-fighting guy.  Is he still playing?”

How uninformed am I of the NHL? While I was “researching” for this article, I found out that Nashville has an NHL team called the Predators. I did not know that.  They’ve existed for 15 years. I should add NHL to my Wikipedia check.

Yes, some of this post is satire, but there are portions (actually, a majority) that are true.

Are you a sports fan like me?

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