Code Taste Test

Some programmers like to brag that they “eat and drink” code.  This might be confusing for the non-programmers out there, so I decided to have a programming taste test.  I’ll sample various types of programming languages and describe the taste.

C – It’s a classic dish.  Extremely versatile and can be used in everything from a late-night embedded coprocessor snack to a full-fledged 10-course Italian dinner for 8. While not as pleasing to the palette, it does fill you up.

C++– It tastes like C, but has a more powerful flavor.  I know that many chefs prefer to cook with this because it allows them to make more complex dishes with less ingredients.  The result is a meal that’s has a very condensed and powerful flavor.

Java – While similar to C++, Java does have some things that really make it a choice ingredient.  The garbage collection removes the unused flavors, providing you with a bold, rich taste.  And no, despite the name, it doesn’t taste like coffee at all.

Objective-C – Apple fanbois are going to declare that this is the best thing since sliced bread. I’m not sure if they’re commenting on the carb count, but this tastes nothing like bread.  The high amount of square brackets provide a grinding against the roof of your mouth like Captain Crunch cereal.

Swift – Apple came out with this new language at the last WWDC. Shortly after it’s release, Apple fainbois were declaring that the smooth taste of Swift was everything people expected. While it’s too early to talk about it’s taste, we know that it does have chamfered edges and a lot less square brackets, so it should go down smoother.  Or should I say….swifter?

HTML – We brought out this next dish. And looked at it for a while.  We then asked ourselves: Why is HTML being brought out in a programming taste test? It’s a markup language.

Ada – Ahh….a programming language developed by the government. The bold, exciting flavors found in the other languages just aren’t here.  Meal is best prepared by committee.

Perl – One time I tried one of those “energy bars”.  It’s basically super compact protein, but hard to distinguish what it is.  This is Perl.

COBOL – This tastes old. Shag carpet tastes newer than this.

No matter what type of code you prefer, most code is low in calories, so you’ll probably need to supplement with something (Mountain Dew?).  Have fun!

What language do you prefer?

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Bryan Logan

About Bryan Logan

I'm Bryan. I like to innovate things. These innovations may materialize as activities with the kids, new/easier/better ways of doing things, smartphone apps, or just funny blog posts. You can find me on Twitter and
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  • Some Guy

    BASIC – kids are hungry and you didn’t plan a meal? BASIC is not fancy but it gets the job done.

    PHP – almost as versatile as C but easier to cook with.

    Assembly – like Grape-Nuts: tough to process, you don’t really like it, but you know it’s good for you.

  • Bryan

    It takes 15 bowls of assembly to get what a tablespoon of PHP could do.

  • Ricky Anderson

    I wrote some VB once.

  • Bryan

    I don’t recall ever writing VB, so you’ve got me beat there.